a false sense of urgency
I've been getting back into reading lately. I recently uninstalled twitter, because some nonsense happened and I didn't feel like using it anymore, and though every so often I want to go back and reinstall it, I weigh the pros and cons against how much I can be bothered and then I decide to do something else. As I said, recently, that something else has been reading.
I have a kindle from year 8, a gift from my family I didn't really use often then--I hadn't realised that you could just send epubs to it, and asking my mum to digitally buy me a book when I could just go instore and get the physical copy felt a bit silly, so it spent a lot of time on my floor. I pick it up every so often, but as much as I enjoy the convenience, there's nothing better than having a physical book on hand. I charged it recently, which was an ordeal in itself. I really hate using dodgy chargers, and because it's old, the light that's meant to show up when it's charging just doesn't really do it, and so I drove myself crazy putting it on charge and waking up to it being dead.
Anyways. The title relates to a revelation this has caused me: Social media gives you such a false sense of urgency. I'm not the best at replying most days, I'll see a message and I'll let it sit for hours until I feel like I can reply, but that doesn't change the fact that the knowledge of the notification will eat at me. Except the annoying thing is that 90% of the time, I'll have been worrying about something that is, objectively, not that important. Hence: False sense of urgency.
I appreciate being able to stay in contact with friends, and the ease of groupchats. Plus, I'm not shy to admit I enjoy photomedia, and having a place to put it. But also, my phone just becomes a world that eats away at my time. I didn't realise how much I missed reading until I just sat down and did it. Sure, I don't always feel like it, but it's never bad to pick up a book and waste a few minutes, rather than opening reels and forgetting everything I just watched. I don't think my attention span's been affected, but the fact is that every moment I spent not on my phone, I'd end up worrying about what happened on it instead. I love the people who contact me through it, but in the same vein, I've lost all semblance of time to myself as a result.
I dunno. There's pros and there's cons, it's why I haven't wholly dropped all my "socials" yet. But I like spending time offline, and I'd like to do it more, so here's to filling up my shelves with more than they can handle!
Big love, Rei
As always, feel free to send me anything: appletender(at)proton(dot)me